There are about a million mommy/ motherhood blog posts out there so I said hey why not. Actually though, the other week I was visiting with another mom and I had a mind altering, emotional epiphany. I really don't know if those are the right words and I hope I can share this right because the whole thing was mostly just about me admitting something to myself and saying it out loud. When I said it to this other mom I was astonished but yet not really, that she had the same experience but of course played along like I did and everyone else. I know, I know get on with it and just tell us what it is.
How many times have you heard some one tell you, or seen in a movie, "you'll just know, the mommy instinct will kick in?" Or, "you'll learn to read their cries." I'm pretty sure that even in my birthing class and the videos I watched in the hospital at delivery said things like that. Yeah sure it gave me comfort and hope, well until the first thing came up that I had absolutely no idea what to do.
There are so many decisions out there to make for a growing developing human being. I felt like Every decision I made was life altering. I know that is a little extreme but well that's just how I am. I've been working on that with the help of my husband and I think I'm doing a lot better. Anyways, a decision like giving your baby a pacifier. There area lot of opinions out there, personal and medical. It's ok though I can just go with my motherly instinct and well I can even choose to just give it to them for certain cries....
I'M OPENING MY MOUTH and saying for myself and all other mothers out there that have just gone with the flow of agreement and not wanting to sound like something was wrong with them... "All my babies' cries sound the same! Of course there is the blood curdling pain scream but other than that, tired, hungry, sad, mad, just want to make noise, or hey get me out of this diaper all sounded the same!
Also sometimes, most times, when I really needed to make a decision I just had to make a choice and hope for the best, without any gut feeling. I do believe in prayer and I do believe that we have a loving Heavenly Father that cares about even our smallest worries and will help us out with these decisions. I understand though that for our own growth sometimes we just have to make a choice see how it goes and make changes where needed or just keep going when it works. We were created with minds and hearts, to direct ourselves with both.
So there it is. It's ok to not know what to do and to not know what your baby needs. The thing my husband tells me which has truly been a turning point in my stress and over thinking is "he (child) will still grow up, go on a mission, get married in the temple and have eternal life." You may or may not understand the significance of that statement but simply put, those things are the most important essential things that I would have for my children. Whether or not he misses a nap, takes a binky, breastfeeds or all those other things that weigh on us, they will not change the outcome of the most important things in life.
I thought all of Taiten's cries sounded the same. Kaia had a specific cry for being tired, but the rest of them sounded the same. No matter why they are crying, I found that holding them, feeding them, rocking them to sleep or changing a diaper fixed it. All the old school things.
ReplyDeleteUnless they were being particularly stubborn, then nothing helped. Kaia went through a long phase where she thought her daddy hung the moon and I was just second class. She would be a perfect little baby for her dad but if he left, all bets were off!