Within this past year I've come to understand that I can't become Kina without him. I am learning from him everyday. This topic goes beyond what I can express in words but I'll share a few things.
He tells me I'm beautiful. He tells me I'm beautiful when I wake up in the morning and my hair is every which way. He tells me when I've just finished miserable morning sickness comings in the bathroom. He tells me I'm beautiful when I've gained 25 pounds and my belly button pokes out. He tells me when I'm curled up on the couch embarrassed because I've just put off some smelliness. He tells me when I get home and instantly put on the comfy clothes. He tells me I'm beautiful when I'm doing all I can to hold back tears because of the difficulties and uncomfort of pregnancy. He tells me I'm beautiful every day, but he doesn't just tell me, he makes sure I know that he truly believes I'm beautiful. --- I'm learning to truly love and see beauty.
My husband is a wonderful man that teaches me to be me. To laugh when times are hard, to break out in rap in the middle of the night, to randomly put my face in the snow, to rush to the need of a neighbor, to give away possessions when someone else is in greater need, to speak up and stop unkind words... to be more like my Savior.
Without him I could become great, but without him I could not become Kina.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
10 more weeks... wow
Ok so as of today there are 10 more weeks till my due date. I didn't even know that until I just counted, I guess I have been thinking about how far along I am not how much is left. I think I will officially start counting that. I like it... 10 more weeks. A girl who was waiting for her missionary to come home, onve told me that the best way to count is in Fast Sundays... 3 more Fast Sundays. Oh yeah I like that!
Another thought on becoming Kina: So yesterday I was sitting on campus after my class waiting with David (my husband) for his class. He was working on the computer and well I was daydreaming about the vending machines down stairs. I was thinking about the muffins. I wanted a muffin and well frankly I believed that I deserved a muffin. --But than I started to remember how we looked at our budget the night before and well to say the least we needed to watch it till we get back to WA and start work. -- but I'm 7 months pregnant and I haven't eaten in like two hours-- but you don't really even feel hungry you just want a muffin-- come on it's only a dollar, do i seriously have to be that penny pinched that I can't even get a muffin when I want one-- well it's good self control practice-- ok ok you get the point, this now most hilarious battle between my own self was going on and frankly I had no idea what to do. Do I give in and buy a muffin or do I use self control cause I don't really need it, but its ok to have wants right. So then I turned to David and rehearsed the above thought conversation. He immediately laughed and told me to go get a muffin. Well so I still wasn't sure but I ended up deciding I would go down to the vending machine take a look at the muffins, and then decide. Well there weren't any muffins! =)
I'm not exactly sure what I learned here but it started me on the path of figuring out these simple desires or wants. I was sent here to enjoy life. Does that mean giving into every little want I have, I don't think so. I do think though that it's ok to have a muffin, even if our budget is tight. The key thing is though, do I have the self mastery to say I'm gonna continue on with out that muffin and my day is going to be great, and then forget about it.
Another thought on becoming Kina: So yesterday I was sitting on campus after my class waiting with David (my husband) for his class. He was working on the computer and well I was daydreaming about the vending machines down stairs. I was thinking about the muffins. I wanted a muffin and well frankly I believed that I deserved a muffin. --But than I started to remember how we looked at our budget the night before and well to say the least we needed to watch it till we get back to WA and start work. -- but I'm 7 months pregnant and I haven't eaten in like two hours-- but you don't really even feel hungry you just want a muffin-- come on it's only a dollar, do i seriously have to be that penny pinched that I can't even get a muffin when I want one-- well it's good self control practice-- ok ok you get the point, this now most hilarious battle between my own self was going on and frankly I had no idea what to do. Do I give in and buy a muffin or do I use self control cause I don't really need it, but its ok to have wants right. So then I turned to David and rehearsed the above thought conversation. He immediately laughed and told me to go get a muffin. Well so I still wasn't sure but I ended up deciding I would go down to the vending machine take a look at the muffins, and then decide. Well there weren't any muffins! =)
I'm not exactly sure what I learned here but it started me on the path of figuring out these simple desires or wants. I was sent here to enjoy life. Does that mean giving into every little want I have, I don't think so. I do think though that it's ok to have a muffin, even if our budget is tight. The key thing is though, do I have the self mastery to say I'm gonna continue on with out that muffin and my day is going to be great, and then forget about it.
(just to clarify, I'm talking about harmless little wants)
We have lots of wants, don't restrain yourself from all of them but don't let them become defining factors in your attitude. just a little thought
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
It has begun...
OK so I finally did it, I've jumped in and started a blog. Most say about time, but I was nervous about having nothing to say or rather saying something and well it just being plain boring. But well this is my blog so I can write what I want, boring or not, right?
Well so where to begin... First I guess, you might wonder what the title of this blog is all about. As you might already know or guessed, I'm Kina. I don't want anyone to think that by this I don't know who I am. It's quite the opposite actually, I know exactly who I am.
I had an experience when I was in high school where I was far far from home with a group of people from school and from some other schools around the country. When I say far far away I mean Europe. The people I was with decided that they wanted to stay up all night doing stuff in the hotel, I don't know what that stuff was because frankly I didn't want to, so I retired to bed. In the middle of the night my roommates felt it necessary to come in wake me up and question my faith and help me find myself. Among the lengthy lecture one girl straightforward told me that I just need to live life so I can truly find myself and know who I am. They then left. I don't believe I said a single word, one for shock and two I was half asleep. I laid in bed crying and then turned to reading my scriptures. When then of course all kinds of things flooded to my mind that I should have refuted back with. Why does all the good stuff always come later? I wanted so bad to have stood up and recited the Young Women's Theme.
"We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. We will "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:Faith, Divine Nature ,Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and *Virtue*. We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation."
I know who I am, I knew it then and my heart ached for those girls to truly know who they are. I am a daughter of God who has been sent here with a divine nature. That divine nature gives me the ability and responsibility of becoming like my Savior, Jesus Christ, one who truly is those above stated values. Each one of us has been born at this time to become our divine nature, by all means I'm not yet there, hence I am working on becoming Kina, the ultimate, God desired Kina.
Well so where to begin... First I guess, you might wonder what the title of this blog is all about. As you might already know or guessed, I'm Kina. I don't want anyone to think that by this I don't know who I am. It's quite the opposite actually, I know exactly who I am.
I had an experience when I was in high school where I was far far from home with a group of people from school and from some other schools around the country. When I say far far away I mean Europe. The people I was with decided that they wanted to stay up all night doing stuff in the hotel, I don't know what that stuff was because frankly I didn't want to, so I retired to bed. In the middle of the night my roommates felt it necessary to come in wake me up and question my faith and help me find myself. Among the lengthy lecture one girl straightforward told me that I just need to live life so I can truly find myself and know who I am. They then left. I don't believe I said a single word, one for shock and two I was half asleep. I laid in bed crying and then turned to reading my scriptures. When then of course all kinds of things flooded to my mind that I should have refuted back with. Why does all the good stuff always come later? I wanted so bad to have stood up and recited the Young Women's Theme.
"We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. We will "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:Faith, Divine Nature ,Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and *Virtue*. We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation."
I know who I am, I knew it then and my heart ached for those girls to truly know who they are. I am a daughter of God who has been sent here with a divine nature. That divine nature gives me the ability and responsibility of becoming like my Savior, Jesus Christ, one who truly is those above stated values. Each one of us has been born at this time to become our divine nature, by all means I'm not yet there, hence I am working on becoming Kina, the ultimate, God desired Kina.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)